"It is more wonderful than I could have ever imagined it would be..."
Our little one arrived on August 5, 2015. Exactly 8 days ago! I have been completely immersed in my new role as a mother and caring for my son. It is more wonderful than I could have ever imagined it would be. He has completely captured my heart and soul. I can't wait to write about my birth story but that's going to be a bit of a longer post and I need a little more time to put it together; but, in a nutshell, I will say that it was one of the most beautiful, mind blowing and life altering experiences I've ever been through that I will absolutely never, ever forget. I honestly wouldn't change one thing about how it all went down because I know everything happened exactly the way God intended. I feel so incredibly blessed. My son is the most precious, beautiful, amazing being I have ever laid eyes on. I could literally just hold him in my arms and stare at him forever. It's overwhelming how special the gift of giving life is. What a blessing. I cry constantly - happy tears - because of how incredibly happy and overwhelmed with love and happiness I feel now. (Yes I know that hormones are at play), but honestly, I can't get over how in love I am with Gavin and my darling husband, and how amazed I am at everything I just went through and am going through. Every second is so sentimental to me. I don't ever want these moments to end. I want time to freeze so I can live in these experiences forever. But at the same time, I so look forward to what the future has in store and can't wait for him to start talking and for his little personality to come out.
Why didn't anyone tell me? No one told me I would look at my son's face and burst into uncontrollable sobs over the amazement I feel when I see him looking back at me. No one told me the softness of his skin would make my heart completely melt. No one told me his hiccups would bring me back to the memory of the past 9 months of carrying him in my womb, feeling his little hiccups and kicks and dreaming of that moment when we will finally get to meet. No one told me my heart would completely burst when I see my husband holding him, playing with his little fingers and rocking him to sleep. No one told me that staying up all hours of the night - while exhausting - would also bring me pure joy and happiness from the peace and quiet and love that fills the room in those precious moments of just the two of us together in the dark.
I think people tried to tell me, but honestly, how do you articulate these feelings I have? It's utterly impossible. Even now as I type all of this I know I am shortchanging you. Because in all honestly, no words are fitting. There is no way to articulate what all of this does to my soul. But I know all the other mothers out there know what I am talking about because they have felt it too. It's just something you need to experience to really understand. How blessed are we to be given this precious gift of motherhood from our Heavenly Father? How could I ever repay him? How did I get so lucky? Life couldn't possibly get better than this.
This is what life is all about. This is everything. I will never ever be the same again. I feel like my eyes have truly been opened. Nothing else matters but my family. Nothing. I thought I already learned that lesson but I was only barely scratching the surface of that. A few days after Gavin was born, my sister asked me if I looked at the world differently now? I answered "He is my world now. I just want the rest of the world to go away."
Speaking of family... I can't express how grateful I am for my own mother. Throughout my pregnancy, my labor, and since Gavin was born she has been just incredible. When she walked into the delivery room when I was going through labor she was like an angel that fell from Heaven to take my hand and help me through it all. And of course now that I have a child of my own, I feel as though I can really empathize and appreciate all she did and has done for me and my siblings throughout our lives. I am really lucky to have her.
Anyway... Now that I am feeling a bit more settled, I look forward to receiving more visitors and introducing Gavin to all of you. Feel free to call or message me if you would like to stop by. And thank you so much for all the well wishes and congratulations and offers to bring food and gifts. It really means a lot to me knowing I have so many loving and caring people in my life. I look forward to returning the favor to each of you someday.
I apologize for not being as responsive to messages as I usually am but as you can see, my heart and mind have been wrapped around some little guy's finger and there is nowhere else in this world I would rather be.
I think people tried to tell me, but honestly, how do you articulate these feelings I have? It's utterly impossible. Even now as I type all of this I know I am shortchanging you. Because in all honestly, no words are fitting. There is no way to articulate what all of this does to my soul. But I know all the other mothers out there know what I am talking about because they have felt it too. It's just something you need to experience to really understand. How blessed are we to be given this precious gift of motherhood from our Heavenly Father? How could I ever repay him? How did I get so lucky? Life couldn't possibly get better than this.
This is what life is all about. This is everything. I will never ever be the same again. I feel like my eyes have truly been opened. Nothing else matters but my family. Nothing. I thought I already learned that lesson but I was only barely scratching the surface of that. A few days after Gavin was born, my sister asked me if I looked at the world differently now? I answered "He is my world now. I just want the rest of the world to go away."
Speaking of family... I can't express how grateful I am for my own mother. Throughout my pregnancy, my labor, and since Gavin was born she has been just incredible. When she walked into the delivery room when I was going through labor she was like an angel that fell from Heaven to take my hand and help me through it all. And of course now that I have a child of my own, I feel as though I can really empathize and appreciate all she did and has done for me and my siblings throughout our lives. I am really lucky to have her.
Anyway... Now that I am feeling a bit more settled, I look forward to receiving more visitors and introducing Gavin to all of you. Feel free to call or message me if you would like to stop by. And thank you so much for all the well wishes and congratulations and offers to bring food and gifts. It really means a lot to me knowing I have so many loving and caring people in my life. I look forward to returning the favor to each of you someday.
I apologize for not being as responsive to messages as I usually am but as you can see, my heart and mind have been wrapped around some little guy's finger and there is nowhere else in this world I would rather be.
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